I am a student at Yaldhurst Model School. This is a place where I will be able to share my learning with you. Please note....some work won't be edited - just my first drafts, so there may be some surface errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas.
Once on a sandy beach. There was boats lots of boats. When I was walking along the beach I realized that there was no water. So I went to go find water. First I have to find something to get around in. So I go and have a little walk around. Suddenly I find an aeroplane a mini one. So I hop in it and lift of. i am i the sky for once in my life . My dream was to fly. Now i just need to find the cloud and make it rain. suddenly there is 3 other planes attacking me randomly the bigger plane apers shooting the 3 planes in one shot and we were fighting over the one cloud until i had put my special water changer on it and then I got shot when we wached the video the class only wached up to where the girl spots a cloud and then we whent away to plan out our writing. I red it through after I had finished writing.Here is the video.
Here is how I created my story
I planed it out on paper
Can I please have some feed back on what you think I could inprove on in a narritive.
In the holadays that is comming up. Nikoli and I are going to do test kind of thing and we have to save up some money to get food and water and pay for all sorts of stuff and this is like the 40 hour famine not really like it. here are some slides with what we are doing it tells you more then I did.
In the Holiday I whent to Twice and once for shays brithday and then we whent to burger king and we had a ice cream sunday with some chips and a burger and after all that we whent back to shays house and had the frozen cake wich was hard to bite into and then we whent home.I had a play date with Abby and we were going to have a sleep over but we did not.
This week we have got a new math routine and time table that wich you get to pick what and when you do stuff like math , narritive stroy , reading , blogger .This is an exsarmpl of my math slides and my time table.
This moring we did a writing e-astle test and here is mine
Once upon a time there was a haunted house. At noon there always was a coloured sky at noon . And that was when the ghosts came out to rob houses and this time it was my turn but i did not know and i heard whispers in the bathroom so I whent down there to have a look. and there was noone there so I whent back to the lounge and i trained on the lights to get some food because I was hungry.
Eventually eggs started to boiled. Within minutes the whisper got louder some ghosts were distracting the lady and the other ones were robbing all the jews from the huge humongous jint glass coubid which was full of diamonds and jewels that are any colour from the rainbow. and then she thought that it was a bit dark and scary so she trined on the lights and every and all ghosts were goneso she sat down and enjoyed the rest of the night eating chips and drinking fizzy and she lived happily ever after.